


Sen Cal Kapimi - Sacrifices

by nayika



Category: Sen Çal Kapımı (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26662147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nayika/pseuds/nayika
Summary: Written at the end of Episode 11, set around 6 months in the future.Eda wants to break up, Serkan wants to know why.
Relationships: Serkan/Eda
Comments: 14
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

‘Serkan, I want to talk to you,’ 

Eda put her hand on his chest and stopped him kissing her in greeting. Coupled with her unusually serious facial expression this had Serkan’s guard up instantly. Had Ayfer Hanim said something again? He knew she still didn’t approve of them being together, still didn’t like him after the fake engagement but he’d been slowly trying to win her over.

He took the hand on his chest in his own and pulled her down to a seat on the couch, ‘What’s wrong? What happened?’

Eda squirmed her hand away from his and twisted her engagement ring around on her finger. He loved that she still wore it - he still wore his - he always thought of her as his fiancée anyway, just hadn’t found the perfect way to ask her yet.

‘I want to break up’

‘What?’ He felt a lurch in his stomach and his hand went up to his neck reflexively to check his pulse although he didn’t even register if there was a heartbeat let alone an abnormal one. ‘What the hell are you saying?’

Eda looked away from him, her hand massaging her forehead, ‘Please, Serkan don’t make this hard for me?’

‘Hard? This is hard for you? You said it so easily, you want to break up. It doesn’t look hard from here.’

He found himself unintentionally standing up, towering over her menacingly and he took a step back, softening his tone ‘Eda, please. Can you say something, I don’t know, say something logical. Where is this coming from?’ 

‘Logical?’ She stood up now, almost matching him for height, her slightly upturned face meeting his and her brown eyes flaming. ‘Relationships aren’t logical Serkan, how many times do I have to tell you this? I want to break up, that’s it. I’m leaving.’

‘Don’t go,’ he held her wrist, his insides burning with a mixture of rage, confusion and fear he could feel himself almost shaking from adrenaline.

‘I’m going,’ she said softly and pulled her wrist away from him just as softly. 

He watched her leave, his jaw clenched. He wanted to stop her but he worried he wouldn’t be able to speak without crying. He hadn’t been allowed to cry as a child, was always told off, always ridiculed, told to grow up, told to be a man, told to be strong.

His brain ran a mile a minute, what was going on? He’d seen Eda yesterday, she’d been fine, normal, a little worried still about her aunt not accepting them but that was all. If she wasn’t going to be with him because of Ayfer, she would have made that decision 6 months ago and gone to Italy for her interview. Not now, when they had so many happy memories behind them. Even Selin and Ferit were married and barely in their lives now. Why would she do this?

He stormed into the house as he pulled out his phone. ‘Engin, whatever you’re doing stop. I need you to go see Ceren now. Eda broke up with me and I want to know why.’

There was a pause while Engin spluttered and took in the news, ‘Ağabeyim, what are you saying? Why? The girl loves you it’s obvious. There must be a mistake. Why would she-’

“I don’t know, that’s what I’m telling you Engin! Talk to Ceren, find out what she knows. I’m going to talk to Melek and do the same, meet me back at my house when you know something.”

He’d grabbed his keys as he’d been talking and made his way to his car. His eyes instantly fell on the lowered roof and then as he sat in the car, Eda’s side of the car door. It was stuffed with various bandanas, and hair-ties she left there on occasion when her hair had been up all day and she’d gotten bored, wanted to feel the wind in her hair as they drove. 

He lowered his head to the steering wheel and tried to stabilise his ragged breathing and pounding heartbeat before he drove. He couldn’t risk an accident, couldn’t risk not being able to follow Eda wherever she went. 

She couldn’t leave. He wouldn’t let her. He couldn’t. What was his identity now without Eda? He woke up in the morning and his first thought was Eda, went to sleep with the sound of her voice in his ears, wore clothes he thought she’d like, worked with partners she’d approve of, constantly looked out for small presents and tokens she’d appreciate - like a magpie always on the lookout for its latest shiny object - everything he did came back to her. She was in his blood, he wouldn’t survive without her, he wouldn’t be surprised if his organs just gave up and stopped working if she truly left him.

\---

Eda sat in the back of the taxi, half expecting and hoping Serkan’s car to pull up behind with his lights flashing and horn blasting. He didn’t. There were two differences this time compared to when she’d tried to leave to go to Italy. Serkan didn’t come and Eda didn’t stop her tears. 

When they arrived she got out of the taxi and looked up at the house. She was supposed to call when she had done it, but she couldn’t bear to hear the smug voice of her Grandmother. After all these years of promising never to take her money Eda had put all her pride aside and gone to her, begging bowl in hand. 

She and her aunt had both been so happy in this house, the couldn’t lose it. Eda wouldn’t let that happen to Ayfer. 

She had taken Eda in when she was so young, never married herself for fear of a prospective husband treating Eda differently. Ayfer had sacrificed the possibility of a husband and a family to give Eda a home. It was Eda’s turn to do the same.

Barely able to see through her tears, Eda pressed send: ‘I broke up with him just like you wanted. Now, give my aunt back her home.’


	2. Part Two

Eda stood at the doorway to the kitchen and watched her aunt; the strain around her pursed lips and the dark circles under her eyes jumped out at Eda. A real smile hadn’t graced her aunt’s face since she’d admitted to Eda the bank was going to repossess their house. She’d expected Eda to be angry but Eda only felt disappointed with herself. If only Ayfer Hala had told her earlier about the florist doing so poorly and how much they needed money. That was the point – ‘they’- it was their florist, their house, so why hadn’t Hala come to her? Why hadn’t she told her?

Eda knew why. Their relationship had been strained by the whole fake-engagement, by Serkan, by Eda’s refusal to leave Serkan.  
If Eda was honest with herself, the cracks had begun to appear as soon as she’d met him. For so long it had just been the two of them her aunt and her. Every happiness, every scraped knee, every new discovery had been shared with her Aunt, she always said she didn’t have three best friends, she had four.

But with Serkan everything changed, she’d begun to keep secrets, first to protect her friends, then to protect herself. And now? Now she had a life separate to her aunt. A life with Serkan. She couldn’t even explain it to her friends. They wouldn’t understand, they’d say she was was independent, she had ambitions, hopes and dreams. And she was, she had all of those dreams but my God she’d been lonely.

Cenk: his lack of attention, lack of love, months on end abroad without a single phone call, and Eda had convinced herself she was satisfied with that. She could never have imagined the alternative.

Serkan. He met her almost every day and called hourly on the days he couldn’t; watched terrible movies with her; loved Melo, respected Ceren and feared Fifi; he ate their silly cake and her perde pilav, He’d filled her heart and her pockets with notes and presents of chocolates, flowers, books, earrings even a pair of flip-flops once; anything he thought would bring a smile to her face.

After today, she’d be alone again. She’d barely been able to look at Serkan’s face as she broke up with him, sure that her resolve would break at the sight of his blue-green eyes always softened with love these days. When she’d called her grandmother yesterday, that had been the only request the cold high voice had requested of her: “separate from that boyfriend of yours and I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Eda didn’t even question how her grandmother knew about Serkan. Like mother, like daughter. Ayfer hala’s express request for the past six months had been that Eda break up with Serkan. That man, that beautiful, smart and caring man who did everything, would do anything for Eda, and yet the only two women in the world to share her DNA couldn’t seem to stand even saying his name.

Blinking back her tears she took a deep breath and pasted a semblance of a smile onto her face. ‘Hala! I got you a present!’

Ayfer sighed and turned, always willing to entertain her niece and she saw the deeds to the house in Eda’s hands. ‘What? How did you? Eda! Don’t tell me you went to Serkan. Don’t.’  
‘Hala,’ Eda chided, ‘you know I would never. Ceren helped me, no I didn’t take money from her either but we spoke to the bank and I’m paying them back in smaller installments.’ She told her Aunt the story she had agreed with Ceren, making no mention of her grandmother or the condition she’d made Eda keep.

\----

Serkan slammed the car door shut behind him and leaned against it. Melek, concerned as she was for their relationship had nothing to tell him. He could only hope Engin had managed to get hold of Ceren. He took out his phone to call him, the home screen lighting up with a picture of Eda, her arms around Sirius. He felt his breath catch, she was so beautiful – her smile, her eyes – he ran a finger over the screen where her face was and sighed turning the screen off as he heard Engin’s car arrive on the drive.

‘Well?’

‘I don’t know what to say Ağabeyim, I’m so sorry I-‘

‘I don’t care about your sorry Engin, what did Ceren say?’ He knew he was being rude, but Engin was also his best friend, Serkan knew he would understand.

‘Let’s sit and talk,’ Engin dragged him towards the house and they sat down before he spoke again. ‘Did you know Ayfer Abla remortgaged the house?”

Serkan’s brow creased in confusion ‘their house? Why? What did she need the money for? Eda’s University fees? Allah’ aşkina, I told Eda I would –‘

‘No, no, well I don’t think. Ceren said Eda didn’t even know about it until last week.’

‘But what does that have to do with us? Me and Eda?’

Engin shook his head, ‘I don’t know Serkan, that’s all Ceren would say. Eda was really troubled by the possibility of losing her house and she needed to get the money from somewhere. I don’t know… do you think maybe Eda’s embarrassed because they need money?’

Serkan scoffed. As if that made a difference to him, as if it would make a difference to Eda. She’d never had an inferiority complex about his wealth, or her lack of it, ‘no Engin, there’s something else, there has to be.’

He stood up, shook Engin’s hand and thanked him for his help before walking into the house. ‘Sirius! Come Sirius. We’re going for a walk.’

The dog heard the magic word and jumped up from his spot in front of the window and trotted over to Serkan.


	3. Chapter 3

The phone rang and Eda picked it up hesitantly. She knew he would call, there was no question about that and if she was honest she’d been expecting him earlier. ‘Yes?’

‘Can you come down? You promised Sirius a walk.’

She didn’t know if Serkan was overly humble or insecure but he seemed to assume she couldn’t say no to Sirius when it had always been him that she couldn’t say no to. ‘I’m coming.’

  
She had to stop herself from feeling excited at the thought of seeing him, this wasn’t a happy meeting, it wasn’t a date. It was quite possibly the last time she’d see him. Ever. The thought scared her. She knew her grandmother had made her break up with him but Serkan was stubborn and proud. As long as he was stubborn about not accepting the end of their relationship he’d keep trying to see her, to talk to her and she would get to hear his gloriously husky voice, his sharp jaw and that soft hair. But when he finally accepted it… Eda knew. She would never see Serkan again after that. He would make sure of it.

Serkan didn’t say anything except bland pleasantries until they reached the bench they usually sat at. He didn’t want to scare her away, didn’t want to risk her running into the house. His heart was pounding in his chest, he could have sworn he heard the blood rushing around his ears. Scared to break the pretence of normality he occupied himself by scratching Sirius behind the ears to delay having to speak as long as possible. He could feel her eyes on him, knew she’d be looking at him warily but expectantly waiting for him to say something.

He cleared his throat and sat up, ‘I… I know about your house being remortgaged. I think-‘

Eda sighed and rolled her eyes ‘Ceren, wasn’t it? I told her not to tell Engin anything!’

Her focus on Ceren and her lack of secret keeping abilities rather than their relationship annoyed him ‘Why? Why did you tell her not to say anything? Do we have secrets between us now?’

‘Serkan,’ her voice was soft, he could tell she was upset and it dissolved his anger instantly ‘please, I can’t Serkan. Please leave.’

He took a hold of her left hand, his fingers clasping over the ring. ‘I just want to understand Eda. What can’t you do? Is this about money? Do you need money? I’ll pay off the mortgage whatever I don’t care.”

Eda shook her head exasperatedly, ‘Serkan, I can’t take your money.’

His anger returned vehemently and he stood up, ‘but you do need it? Yes? So you’d rather have your pride, not take my money and break up with me instead, is that it?’

Sirius whined, feeling the tension in the air and Eda screwed up her eyes worried she would cry. She had tried desperately to think of a reason to give to Serkan for their grandmother-mandated breakup but had been unable to come up with anything he would believe. The last 6 months had been the happiest of her life, their lives. They’d had small arguments here and there about ridiculous things she couldn't even remember now but nothing of significance. There was no crack in their relationship for her to claw at and widen until they were both swallowed up whole inside it. Instead she’d had to settle for a vague ‘I want to break up, because of reasons.’

She should have known Serkan would never settle for vague; he was precise, logical, and smart. ‘Serkan, this isn’t about the money. I just can’t be with you anymore. Please leave.’  
He sat down again, closer to her than he had been before. She could feel the heat of his strong thigh which felt like it was burning through the fabric of his jeans to her own bare leg.

‘Eda. Give me one reason you’re breaking up with me. Give me one reason to leave.’

She instantly thought of the day he’d first told her he loved her and her instinct was to reply with how much she loved him. She loved him so much she felt as if her heart would burst from having had to go almost a whole day without saying the words and she couldn’t help the tears that spilled from her eyes.

He could never bear to see her cry, it pained him physically; made his stomach hurt. He pulled her close to him, his arms around her, cradling her gently against his chest. ‘Please don’t do this to me. To us. Don’t separate me from you, I won’t live. I won’t survive. I don’t know how to be without you anymore.’

‘She… I didn’t want to… I always said I’d never… I’ve never told anyone Serkan. Anyone.’

He moved one hand from around her shoulder and lifted her chin so her face was turned towards his. Almost pleading with her he said ‘Eda, am I just anyone? Don’t I mean more to you than that? Don’t you love me? Whatever the problem is, whatever’s gone wrong we can fix it, together. Sevgilim, let me help you, please.’

Eda’s resolve melted with his every word until she was a puddle of wax in his arms. She smiled helplessly through her tears and put her arms around his neck, ‘of course I love you, I love you like crazy Serkan Bolat,’

‘The feelings are mutual Eda Yildiz,’ Serkan said crushing her body to his and burying his head into her hair hoping to suppress any tears of relief that might make their escape.  
‘So?’ Serkan asked a few minutes later, ‘Why all this today? Where did it come from?’

Eda sat up, rubbed her face free of tears and sat stiff on the bench. Her hands clenched the wood either side of her legs and she took a few deep breaths in preparation. ‘I did, we did, I mean, Hala and I, we needed money for the house and the florist and I.. I asked someone I shouldn’t have for help.’

‘Who?’

‘My grandmother.’

Serkan hid his surprise at the mention of this secret family member and listened carefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to end this short story here and leave the rest to your imagination. I hope you all enjoyed it, please do leave comments/kudos so I can tell if people are actually reading and would like to read more from me!


End file.
